Letters to the Editor: Let your lawn die, but don’t plant natives just yet
In his Sunday editorial, “Let us not go out and murder our native grasses,” Mike Schlesinger made some excellent points in his effort to explain why it is a good idea to plant native grasses in New Jersey.
After reading his article, I couldn’t help but smile. If there is anyone in the Garden State who is really interested in saving native grasses, you surely are not reading Mike Schlesinger’s editorial or the Garden State Botanical Council’s “Save Our Species” website. If you are interested in saving native grasses, you surely would not be reading the “Save Our Species” website’s newsletter, “The Garden State Guide to Gardeners,” or the Garden State Guide to Gardeners’ “Growing” guide or the Garden State Guide to Gardeners’ “Dealing with Common Natives.” The only person you would be reading would be Mike Schlesinger.
When all is said and done, if you know a little something about native grasses and their value for homeowners, don’t have any desire to know, then you shouldn’t be reading Mike’s article or the Garden State Botanical Council’s “Save Our Species” website. (You should be reading the Garden State Guide to Gardeners’ “Growing,” the Garden State Guide to Gardeners’ “Dealing with Common Natives” or the Garden State Guide to Gardeners’ “The Guide to Gardeners of New Jersey,” not to mention the rest of Mike’s editorial.)
Mike, you would be much better served to write a novel about what’s wrong with the native grasses. (If you don’t think you can do that, then you shouldn’t be writing an editorial for your newspaper.)
If you know what’s wrong with the native grasses, then you should be writing a novel about it, which would be a novel published in every major New England city by the time you’re done. Then a movie would be made. Then a television series. Then a cable network. Then a daily show. Then a video game.
In other words, you should be writing a trilogy on what’
